La Gran Meditación Occidental de los Opuestos

La Gran Meditación Occidental de los Opuestos

…me grita. Me está vociferando delante de todos. Boca y labios trompetas. Formando tremendo espumero, envidia de cualquier perro rabioso. Estoy salpicado. Y esto es espuma, espuma de afeitar sin dudas, y allí mismo saco la navaja y empiezo a rasurarme la barba…luego el bigote, quizás, después de esto no me reconozca y pare abruptamente de berrear cuando me vea el rostro limpio y rejuvenecido. Pero ella lanza violenta un ensarte de malas palabras zurcidas con hilos plateados de babaza que aseguran la refriega. Hilos brillantes. Nudos de espuma ballestrinque. De aquí no hay quien salga. De nada sirvió afeitarse. A lo mejor es el pelo. La cabeza con el peinado a la moda. Continúo afeitándome, esta vez la cabeza. Siguen los gritos…esta mujer es de hierro, metal industrial del mismo que cogen para fabricar bocinas, bafles de concierto y equipos de alta calidad sonora. Ocupo la mente en otras meditaciones occidentales…

veo a Tom y Jerry sonriendo, alegres y saludando a la multitud en la entrega de los Oscars, orgullosos de ganar la estatuilla por séptima vez. ¿Quién dijo que los gatos y los ratones son enemigos? Ellos que, a fuerza de vivir juntos en ratoneras y callejones abandonados, se forjaron su carrera de artistas día tras día hasta alcanzar la popularidad y el triunfo en la Academia. Nadie habla de estas cosas de la vida real, nadie piensa en este ejemplo de amistad inquebrantable que sobrevivió el pasar de los años, a través de tantos contratos y dibujantes…Metro Goldwyn-Mayer…Hanna-Barbera… drogas…si porque Jerry ahí donde lo vemos es un gran morfinómano. Jerry hoy día es millonario, pero antes de serlo y triunfar en la televisión y en el cine fue un ratón de callejón que muchas veces se rebajó a la condición de rata de alcantarilla donde adquirió la costumbre de inyectarse morfina. Vivía endeudado, pidiendo dinero o trabajando en bares felinos sirviendo bebidas y pescados. Allí fue donde conoció a Tom, un gato violento y sumiso, pero con gran talento para la actuación quién le presentó los teatros y le propuso probar suerte en el mundo del espectáculo. Desde entonces no se separaron, hasta que se volvieron asquerosamente populares. Pero en todo este tiempo Jerry nunca dejó de inyectarse. Actuaba drogado y vivía drogado. Su salud y su constitución, envidiables, se mantuvieron bastante bien tras años de consumo. Es verdad que han tenido que reconstruirlo unas cuantas veces, pero siempre fue muy fácil sobornar a cualquier dibujante o colorista antes de cualquier toma, por lo que siempre estuvo listo y en estado óptimo en los sets de filmación. Una vez Tom le preguntó como hacía para mantenerse sano y resistente pese al fuerte abuso de opiáceos. Jerry le confesó alegre que tenía antepasados en su familia que habían prestado su cuerpo a los avances de la ciencia y que sus propios tíos y padres pertenecieron a una familia de roedores que se criaron en laboratorios donde se hicieron experimentos de todo tipo. Al parecer él había heredado genes envidiablemente resistentes… 

Pienso en Tom y Jerry…me alegra recordarlos y veo…el interior de una casa… y hago un paneo a lo largo de la sala donde Tom duerme encima de un cojín y en una esquina de la pared un hueco, la ratonera de Jerry… ese hueco siempre viene incluido con la casa… y pienso que ese hueco (donde seguro Jerry está durmiendo), es también el eterno hueco en el brazo de Jerry, perforado por la aguja hipodérmica una y otra vez con que se inyecta sus queridas drogas. ¡Ah los ratones! ¡Ah los gatos amigos de los ratones! El amor existe… el amor inunda los contornos de la vida y no pide permiso…me alegro…me alegro mucho…

Pese a que evidentemente he rejuvenecido en estos últimos minutos, porque he meditado en los inmortales y me he quitado todo el pelo de la cara…también terminé con los pelos de la cabeza, me afeité completo gracias al derroche de saliva, espuma de afeitar y mi envidiable técnica del dominio de la navaja…ya estoy calvo… como un monje budista, soy otro, después de la Gran Meditación Occidental de Gatos y Ratones, cosas terribles como la guerra pierden el sentido, incluso puedo darme cuenta que la humanidad es digna de lástima mientras se dedique al proceso de destruir por destruir…soy otro, ya soy otro, rasurado, rapado y reivindicado. Así y todo, ella no se calla, es la gran bocina ruidosa disparándome ráfagas de insultos. Cambié mi apariencia y nada sucede…seguro que ella lo tiene muy claro, las apariencias engañan a todos, la ilusión del cuerpo con sus leyes es un flagelo para la mente humana. Evidentemente ella no hace caso a esas cosas y sigue gritándome… ¿Por qué lo hace con tanta energía? ¿Habrá pasado algo? Voy a tener que preguntarle….

Ilustraciones: Yuri Suárez Alvarez

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